What is The Empathy Set?
The Empathy Set comprises two sets of cards: 56 feelings cards and 56 needs cards.
Together, they form a powerful communication tool that supports empathy and emotional intelligence, thus promoting relational harmony.
As the late Marshall Rosenberg, of Non Violent Communication fame, would say, "Empathy is demonstrating an understanding of another's feelings and needs!"
You are in the right place to learn more about how to use these magical cards....and where to get your own set!
The Empathy Set retails for $24.97 and is available:
For discounts on bulk orders please email us.
Who needs the Empathy Set?
The Empathy Set is ideal for everyone, for in truth, we all have challenges communicating positively, without judgment and put downs.
Specifically, the Empathy set is ideal to explore how we are feeling and what we are needing from our family members, whether it be our parent, our sibling, our children or our relatives.
The Empathy Set is perfect to prepare for a difficult workplace conversation with your boss, your peer or your subordinate.
The Empathy Set is a powerful tool in the hands of facilitators, workshop leaders, therapists, trainers and mediators who want to support their client’s transformation.
Why an Empathy Set?
The late Rodney King famously asked:
“Why can’t we all just get along?”
One of the reasons, is that we don’t have the tools.
So, we often find ourselves challenged by those closest to us: our family and our work colleagues.
We care about the relationship.
But feel unhappy about something because our valid needs aren’t being met.
And we don’t have the communication tools to do something productive (without making things worse!)
If we tend to conflict avoidance we are likely to bottle up our resentments.
And risk using passive aggressive ways of expressing ourselves, like sarcasm. Or, we may surprise everyone and erupt.
If we tend to be more confrontational in our conflict situations then we are likely to be afraid of our anger and saying and doing things that we will later regret.
Even if we are doing our best to apply the relationship wisdom of our times, we are probably still struggling.
It’s really hard to communicate without judgment.
Judgments are experienced as attacks.
So, when we judge, we can expect defensiveness.
Counter allegations.
Blame.
And the further fracturing of the relationship.
When all we wanted to do was let this person we care about, know that our feelings got hurt, and have valid needs too!
But how?
Expressing yourself using “I” Statements is the way to go.
An “I” Statement is a positive expression of what you observed, what you felt, what you need and what you are requesting.
So, you say, “When you talk before I have finished, I notice my frustration, because I need to be heard in full. Could you please let me finish first before you share?”
It’s certainly better than shouting out, “You are so rude. What gives you the right to interrupt me all the time?”
What is often challenging, is getting clear on what exactly you felt, and what you need, moving forward.
Which is where the cards enter the picture.
They help you get in touch with all your feelings.
Users of the cards frequently express surprise that they had so many feelings about something.
And of how helpful it is to identify the few key feelings that fully validate their experience.
When it comes to the needs, it is the same.
Amazement that they have so many important needs that are not being met.
When two people in relationship, take the time to express what they feel and what they need, they set themselves up to problem solve.
So, in a nutshell, the cards are a tool that get you in touch with vital information that you need so that you can communicate positively what you are feeling and needing, without judgment, by using “I” Statements, and then problem solve to find a solution that meets everyone’s needs.
Exactly how are the cards used?
You can use them to get clear about what you are feeling and needing in respect of any relationship, situation or event.
You can use them to sense what someone else is feeling and needing about your relationship, situation or event.
You can use them to problem solve and to find lasting solutions based on both of your valid needs.
And finally, you can use them creatively with groups to clear the air and help move on from the pain of the past.
For more detailed guidance, you can read the instructions for the cards or watch videos here.
Hi, I'm John Ford, the author of Peace at Work.
I've been helping people resolve conflicts for 30 years now, first as an attorney in Namibia and for the last 24 as a workplace and divorce mediator in the San Francisco Bay Area.
These are the most powerful communication tools I have encountered.
They are transformational.
Every time I use them people ask where they can get a pack.
And for good reason.
They help humans have difficult conversations and restore harmony to their relationships.
They will help you get clear about your feelings and needs.
So you can express your voice positively.
The Empathy Set retails for $24.97 and is available:
For discounts on bulk orders please email us.
"I often work with groups of married couples. In these groups, I identify the couple with the most long-standing conflict, and I make a rather startling prediction to the group. I predict that we will be able to resolve this long-standing conflict within twenty minutes from the point at which both sides can tell me what the other side needs": We Can Work it Out: Resolving Conflicts Peacefully and Powerfully, Marshall Rosenberg: Puddle Dancer Press (Encinitas, 2005) at 7.