Discover What You're Feeling. Find the Words for What You Need.
The Empathy Set® is a card-based tool for the slow practice of finding what's actually present in you. It helps you discover the feeling beneath the story, name the need beneath the feeling, and find the language to share both in a way that lands.
✓ Find the feeling. We tend to reach for the easiest word, and the easiest word is often a story about what someone else did. The cards help you find what's actually there underneath.
✓ Find the need. Every feeling is pointing toward something you need. Naming the need is what changes what becomes possible in the conversation.
✓ Find the words. Say what's true for you, with care for how it lands. Clear language is what allows another person to meet you, even when the conversation is hard.
Explore the Work
Emotional Literacy
Explore the difference between storied feelings and present feelings, and why one gets you to the trail and the other gets you home.
Understanding Triggers
Discover the difference between a trigger and being triggered, and why being triggered is always an echo from the past.
Empathy in Practice
Empathy is the discipline of reading what is actually there in another person, imagining their world, and staying alongside them with your own ground intact.
Listening and Connection
Hearing them is not enough. Listening is done when they know they have been heard.
Difficult Conversations
How to speak the truth and stay in the room, when silence or force both feel like the only options.
Why This Work Matters
Most conflict isn't about bad intent. It's about not having the words for what we feel and need.
When the right words aren't available, we reach for the easiest ones. I felt disrespected. He doesn't care. They're impossible. Each one names something real. But each one also carries a story about what someone else did, and the story keeps your attention locked outward. By the time you speak, the case has hardened, and the conversation goes somewhere neither of you intended.
Most of us were never taught the alternative. We grew up with a working emotional vocabulary of five or six words, enough to get us through ordinary days but not nearly enough for the moments when precision matters most.
The Empathy Set® offers a slower practice. The cards give you the vocabulary to find the feeling beneath the story, the need beneath the feeling, and the words to share both in a way another person can meet.
Used over time, the language they teach becomes part of how you notice your own experience. From that ground, more conscious ways of relating become possible.
The Empathy Set (Original Cards)
56 feelings cards + 56 needs cards
✔ Simple and easy to use
✔ Clear, practical language
✔ Great for everyday conversations
Best for: getting started quickly
$24.97
The Empathy Set (Definitions Edition)
Cards with built-in definitions and synonyms (most popular)
✔ Deeper emotional clarity
✔ Expanded vocabulary
✔ Helps you find the right word
Best for: going deeper and refining expression
$28.97
The Dictionary of 108 Feelings and Needs:
A reference guide to deepen your understanding
✔ Definitions and synonyms in one place
✔ Supports “I” statements
✔ A helpful companion to the cards
Best for: learning and reflection
Hardcopy for $12.97 (most popular)
The Empathy Guide
A Practical Path to Presence, Understanding, and Connection
A thoughtful 53-page guide exploring:
why empathy matters in relationships and communication,
how emotional reactions shape difficult conversations,
the role of feelings and needs in emotional awareness,
and practical ways to build empathy, connection, and relational clarity.
Drawn from more than thirty years of mediation, training, and emotional literacy work, this revised edition brings together practical insight, reflection, and real-world communication tools you can return to over time.
Go Deeper with the Free Empathy Set® App
The Empathy Set® App helps you apply the cards to real situations.
It guides you step-by-step to identify your feelings, understand your needs, and prepare for meaningful conversations.
✔ Work through real situations
Name what you’re feeling and what you need.
✔ Understand both sides
Consider what the other person may be feeling and needing.
✔ Communicate clearly
Turn insight into “I” statements and constructive dialogue.
Free to use. No cost. No limits.
John Ford
Created by John Ford
I’ve spent over 30 years helping people navigate conflict. First as an attorney, and now as a workplace mediator and trainer.
Over time, I saw a pattern:
People weren’t lacking goodwill.
They were lacking the language to express what mattered.
The Empathy Set® was created to change that.
Talking Sticks
Simple tools that support respectful, structured conversation.
Clarifies who is speaking
Encourages listening
Creates space for every voice
Zulu Beaded Talking Stick for $39.97 | Giraffe NVC Talking Stick for $19.97
Empathy Explorer
A guided tool to help you work through difficult conversations using feelings and needs.