By John Kinyon,
I have been reflecting deeply and painfully on the violence and polarization we are experiencing in the world. How it seems to be increasing on all levels, from the macro to the micro of our lives.
The scale of suffering we witness on our screens feels incomprehensible and utterly heartbreaking. Yet this violence is not new or uncommon — it is ubiquitous throughout human history; and with current technologies now at our fingertips we experience it in such intimate and vivid ways.
GETTING TO THE HEART OF VIOLENCE
At the core of violence, I see the power-over paradigm of domination systems creating roles of oppressor and oppressed (and there is often disagreement about who is in which role). I see this system fostering the experience of injustice, inequality, and cycles of violent actions and reactions. I see this in how we relate to other animals and to the natural world. And I see that all of us can at times find ourselves in the role of oppressor, as well as oppressed — even in how we relate to ourselves!
This power-over system is part of our human story, like a software operating system that runs in human beings. When this system is activated, it shuts off empathic connection, care, and cooperation. We then can dehumanize and do terrible things to each other. We are seeing so visibly the price that everyone pays when needs are met at the expense of others.
A MORE WONDERFUL WAY
There is a much more wonderful game for us humans to play. It is the game of using our power to care equally for the needs and wellbeing of others as we do for ourselves, even when it is most difficult to do. This may even sound idealistic or impossible. But it may be our way out of the growing hell in which we find ourselves.
So, how do we do this? How do we update our human operating system?
I start by empathically feeling the depths of my own pain as I witness the suffering of power-over, and connect to the need to be safe and loved.
Then, expanding my empathy, can I feel the human being who is just like me, and is caught up in that system?
From this place, can I act to support the caring for everyone's needs and wellbeing?
In this way we can awaken each other through love. Deep in our hearts we know what brings peace, joy, and working together for life to flourish.
John Kinyon has devoted his life and career to furthering human connection and cooperation around the world through empathic communication. John is co-creator of the Mediate Your Life (MYL) training program and company, based in the work of Nonviolent Communication/NVC (cnvc.org).
Experience the Healing Hurt & Divides in the Mediate Your Life App. This will support the exploration of unresolved emotional pain, being with the "actor" and "receiver" of pain, creating a space of healing and connection. To do so, download my free Mediate Your Life App, tap "Map Room," and tap the icon "Healing Hurt & Divides."
