Empathy is more than just a concept or an abstract ideal; it’s a fundamental part of our human nature, deeply embedded in our biology. Neuroscience reveals that empathy plays a crucial role in how we connect with others, allowing us to understand and share their feelings and needs. For mediators, this skill is indispensable—not only as a tool for resolving conflict but also for fostering trust and emotional understanding between conflicting parties.
In this article, we’ll explore the neuroscience behind empathy, its definition and components, and how mediators can cultivate and apply this skill to enhance their practice.
The Empathy Network in Our Brains
Empathy is hardwired into our brains, with research revealing the biological roots of this powerful skill. One of the key players in this process is a set of neurons called mirror neurons. According to Don Joseph Gowey, "Mirror neurons generate empathy, which is the opposite experience of judging and condemning." When we see someone experiencing an emotion—whether it’s joy, sorrow, or frustration—these mirror neurons activate, allowing us to feel a version of that emotion within ourselves. This neurological mechanism helps explain why we often find ourselves moved by the pain or happiness of others.
The brain circuits involved in empathy demonstrate how different regions work together to respond to others' experiences. For example, the somatosensory cortex enables us to physically sense and react to another person’s pain, while the superior temporal sulcus helps us mirror their actions and emotions. These interconnected areas allow us to perceive and connect with others on an emotional level, enhancing our ability to empathize.
Daniel Goleman expands on this through the concept of emotional contagion, noting that "emotions are contagious. We catch feelings from one another as though they were some kind of social virus." This phenomenon is central to the science of empathy. The mirror neuron system allows us to mirror another person’s emotions, contributing to the automatic transmission of feelings between people. Goleman also highlights that "our brain’s very design makes it hard to maintain emotional distance; our emotions automatically and instantly mimic those of others." This is why we can pick up on the emotional states of others before even consciously realizing it.
Candace Pert further elaborates on this emotional resonance, saying, "The emotions are the connectors, flowing between individuals, moving among us as empathy, compassion, sorrow, and joy." This underscores the idea that empathy is a biological function intertwined with our ability to connect emotionally. Our shared "molecules of emotion," as Pert describes them, resonate together, reflecting the oneness of human experience.
This ability to quickly pick up on emotions is demonstrated in infants as well. Researchers Pat Wingert and Martha Brant observed that babies as young as six months could feel rudimentary empathy. They would cry when they heard other infants cry, yet did not react to recordings of their own cries. This shows that, from birth, humans are wired to respond to others’ emotional states, setting the stage for the development of empathy throughout life.
Empathy: A Skill to Cultivate
Although empathy is biologically embedded in our brains, it is also a skill that can be developed and improved. Effective empathy involves two key elements: genuine perception and deep imagination. These elements not only define empathy but also reveal its challenges, especially in the context of mediation.
Genuine Perception
Genuine perception refers to an unfiltered, direct understanding of another person’s feelings and needs. It is the ability to truly see and feel what someone else is experiencing without letting personal biases interfere with our interpretation. Mirror neurons play a critical role in this process. As Don Joseph Gowey pointed out, these neurons help us experience empathy rather than judgment. By activating when we observe others’ emotions, they allow us to feel the emotions of another person firsthand.
Daniel Goleman adds another dimension by explaining that "when we focus on someone else, our brain shifts to a mode that is less concerned with our own needs and more open to theirs." This shift is what makes empathy powerful—it moves us beyond self-interest and into a place where we can genuinely understand and resonate with another’s experience. For mediators, facilitating this shift is crucial in creating an experience where both parties feel heard and respected.
However, as mediators, overcoming personal experiences, emotions, and assumptions is crucial to achieving genuine perception. Our own neural wiring may lead us to project our feelings onto others, skewing our perception of their emotional reality. Mediators must recognize their biases and focus on accurately perceiving the emotions of the parties they are assisting.
Deep Imagination
Deep imagination is the ability to mentally journey into another’s experience. It is not enough to merely observe someone’s feelings; empathy requires us to imagine what it is like to live in their world, from their perspective. This is where empathy becomes an act of creativity, allowing us to bridge the gap between our understanding and their reality.
The neuroscientific research on empathy circuits offers valuable insight into how this imaginative leap occurs in the brain. For instance, the anterior insula helps us imagine the thoughts of others, and the medial prefrontal cortex aids in registering facial emotion and understanding the intentions of others. These circuits allow mediators to move beyond surface-level observations and into a deeper engagement with the emotional experiences of the parties involved in a conflict.
Daniel Goleman explains that "our brain’s very design makes it hard to maintain emotional distance; our emotions automatically and instantly mimic those of others." This automatic mirroring sets the stage for us to take the next step: imagining how the other person is experiencing the world from their unique perspective.
For mediators, deep imagination is crucial in understanding both parties' emotional landscapes without allowing their own experiences to color the interpretation. While mirror neurons give us a glimpse into another’s emotional state, the imaginative leap requires conscious effort and practice. The prefrontal cortex, particularly the cingulate cortex, helps in this process by comparing one’s perspective with another’s, allowing mediators to identify both the shared and divergent feelings and needs between conflicting parties.
However, deep imagination can be challenging. While mirror neurons and emotional contagion provide a biological foundation for empathy, mediators must be careful not to project their own interpretations onto the parties they are assisting. The imaginative leap into another’s perspective must be grounded in genuine curiosity and an active effort to understand their unique emotional reality.
Why Empathy Matters in Conflict Resolution
Mediators, by the nature of their work, are called upon to be empathic listeners. They must create an environment where both parties feel heard, understood, and respected. In doing so, mediators play a pivotal role in de-escalating conflict. Neuroscience shows that when we listen with genuine perception and deep imagination, we foster emotional resonance—an essential component for building trust and creating a sense of emotional safety.
By cultivating empathy, mediators enable both parties to shift from entrenched positions to a space of deeper emotional connection. This focus on understanding the perspectives of others is central to the success of mediation, as it encourages parties to see beyond their immediate grievances and into the shared emotional space that empathy creates.
Empathy is not just about understanding emotions; it’s also about recognizing and addressing underlying needs. True empathy is the ability to genuinely perceive and deeply imagine another person’s feelings and needs, to communicate this understanding with sensitivity, and to respond with compassionate actions.
In mediation, this process goes beyond resolving surface-level disagreements. It involves uncovering the deeper feelings and needs driving the conflict, creating space for resolution by acknowledging the feelings and addressing those needs. Often, the most entrenched disputes can be resolved once both sides feel that their emotions and needs have been fully recognized. Mediators who employ empathy effectively help guide parties from a place of division toward mutual understanding, and ultimately, resolution.
Empathy, rooted in our biology, is one of the most powerful tools mediators can wield. It enables them to connect deeply with the individuals involved, fostering more meaningful and compassionate resolutions. By honing the skills of genuine perception and deep imagination, mediators can unlock the transformative potential of empathy, turning conflict into an opportunity for collaboration and growth.
References
Candace Pert, Molecules of Emotion: The Science behind mind body medicine, 2003
Don Joseph Gowey, The End of Stress, 2014
Paul Ekman, Emotions Revealed, 2003
Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (2006)
Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (1995)
Pat Wingert and Martha Brant, Reading your Babies Mind, Newsweek, 2005
Yudhijit Bhattacharjee, Science Offers Insight Into Why Some People Are Especially Nice (Or Not), National Geographic, January 2018
John Ford is a seasoned workplace mediator and conflict resolution coach with three decades of experience. He is the author of "Peace at Work: The HR Manager’s Guide to Workplace Mediation" and the creator of several tools designed to enhance empathy and communication in mediation, including The Empathy Set™ of cards. John teaches negotiation and mediation at UC Law SF and has trained professionals across various sectors. His innovative approach to mediation focuses on structured processes that address both the relational and substantive aspects of conflict, empowering clients to achieve lasting resolutions.